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03 February 2010 @ 11:02 pm
The first day back at uni is where I saw the very beauty which I wanted to
hold and love with every fibre in my body.Firstly Im in my second year at
uni,jus started the first semester i play hockey n i would be considered a
jock in america but because this is England Im just considered a sporty
chick.Im 19, about 5ft 5,with muscles not fat just a well defined bod cos of
the weights i did as a kid,brown hair with blonde streaks.Ive been told I
have cute eyes n a cute smile by my preivous girlfriends all of whom im
still in regular contact with.
Well back on with the story,she noticed me the very first day i saw her,her
smile accentuating her gorgeous green eyes.No words spoken between us just a
smile,a smile enough to make me take notice of her which can be quite rare
as Id spent most of the summer single after my ex has told me I was too good
for her.She was wearing a loose-fittin South African rugby shirt n jeans I
swear i was totallly blown away by her.I had to calm down cos she was a
fresher n i didnt wana scare away the only potential gf material I'd seen
grace the uni campus.
I'm not into all the mind games crap,n I dont believe she was the type to
play it that way,but until i knew she was gay i kept myself from getting too
excited.I walked into uni the next day n bumped into her again this time she
muttered a 'hello' at my direction. Me,being stupid did a double take
thinking my blonde beauty couldnt be talking to me I carried on walking.Not
disturbed by my percieved rudeness(I didnt know) she decided to drag me in
the toilets n pushed me into a cubicle n preceeded to kiss me hard n me not
aware of the situation took a while to respond but when i did she understood
how i felt fo'sure.After the kiss had ended which seemed like forever not
that i was complainin,she said 'Now u get the hint darlin' Im Alex,n u r?',
'Er Im Beth,Alex its nice to meet ya'.We both knew no introduction was
really neccessary.She had a glint in her green eyes n i still couldnt
believe i was standing in a uni toilet just having kissed a hot girl.She
pulled me in for another smooch n this time it was more heated and I could
feel the passion being generated between us even if it was in a toilet
After we'd finally stopped kissin n groping each other,Alex dived into my
pocket n found my fone n punched her number in it under 'Babe' I wasnt
complaining,but I still had to ask 'You do want us to be an item dont you?'
she looked at me dumbfounded and didnt answer me just grabbed my hand and
pulled me out of the toilets towards the halls.I mean I'm not the type to
have meaningless,soulless sex it just isnt me.She literally dragged me back
towards halls and as we entered the 'Lord Openshaw' hall something clicked
it was my old hall from last year.She was in my old room purely by
coincidence,but the memories came back from me n various girlfriends.
I didnt tell Alex this for fear of reprisal and plus I had no clue where
this was going.She turned the key in the door and led me in.She pushed my
back pack off my back and very slowly moved down to my jean pockets to
remove my phone and wallet,'we dont want interruptions do we?' Alex murmured
and preceeded to trun off my phone.

More at my lesbian dating blog
23 December 2008 @ 04:21 am
 Hey all. It's been a while! I thought I'd give a little update, try to stimulate some discussion...

I'm leaving for residential on the 29th. The place where I'm going normally has family therapy, but I've requested that my fiance be listed as family instead of my actual parents. A large part of me knows that he needs to be in on everything since we're living together and will get married, but I still can't shake that small part of me that believes asking him to come every weekend is demanding, that I'm being a burden, all of those lovely negative thoughts... I'm not asking for reassurance; I know I'm doing the right thing and all... just needed to vent. 

Is anyone else in recovery and depending heavily on his/her partner? How does he/she feel about it? How do you cope with the idea of being "high maintenance" or a "burden" for your partner? Give me a little insight. :)
Also, how many of you are actively seeking recovery? I'm curious about how having a partner affects how we view our EDs and how willing we are for treatment versus singles with EDs.

How are all of you doing? Any new dating stories/questions/issues? Start a new post and fill us in.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: "Everything I Ask For" -The Maine
18 July 2008 @ 08:28 pm
 Well i've been dating Tony a couple days now
and I've told him about my bulimia, 
and he told me he'll try to understand but he also told me that he wants me to gain weight. 
And I'm actualy going to try to be healthy. 
I'm underweight right now at 5.5 1/2 112 and i'm aiming at 118
 which i think is all i can stand for now. 
I'm a runner and i have a lot of muscle i'm only 10 percent body fat.
I want to keep muscle and not become fat or overweight but I want to be healthy
not just for him
but for me he's actually inspired me believe it or not. 
I haven't purged today
and I ate 1100 calories 
and I went for a 5 minute run which i do every day no matter what and did a small work out 
but tomorrow 10 minute (2 miles) run and longer workout
i do a pattern.
Current Mood: happyhappy
07 July 2008 @ 12:18 am
I want to be honest with my girlfriend, but letting her know that her eating disorder upsets me just makes her feel worse. How do I stay open without making her feel as though my worries are her fault? Is it even possible?

As an aside, is there anyone else in this community dating someone with an eating disorder who'd like to talk?
06 July 2008 @ 01:41 am

Yes, that's right. YOU!

You have an eating disorder. Are you fucking sick of it yet? Well yeah, we all are. Anyway. Do you think you're ready to recover, but scared of conventional treatments? Have you tried to recover, only to find that you relapse? Were you put into inpatient only to find that it was completely abrasive and counterproductive?

OK, well then. For those of you still struggling with your eating disorder: do you hide it from your SO? How, and how does it make you feel? I know that when I hide my ED from M., I end up feeling like utter shit, but I also don't want him to worry about me. It's a compulsive thing for me too, because I'm ashamed of myself - and this can make me feel even more ashamed.
05 July 2008 @ 11:56 pm
I want to get better.
But, getting better means asking my boyfriend to change his lifestyle to help me.
I feel guilty asking him to change for me.
But, I need his help if I ever plan on overcoming this.

I am so terrified that the second I reach stable footing and finally see myself coexisting with ED instead of slowly killing myself with it will also be the second that this relationship ends. I'm beyond scared that all of the times he promised he'd be there forever were just lies.

Everything about recovery is scary, but I just can't shake this feeling that something is going to happen and all of my progress will be lost.

How are you all doing? Hopefully not as negative as I am?
29 June 2008 @ 07:12 pm
Hey everyone. I'm new to livejournal and this community. I'm currently living with my girlfriend who has anorexia nervosa. I don't personally know anything about dealing with eating disorders, and it kills me being unable to do anything.

So, what is the best thing I can do for her right now? She tried to recover once, but now she's back to not eating.

Also, what could you guys tell me to help me understand her situation? We fight about this and she tells me that I just "don't get it." And, I really don't. :(

Thanks so much!
28 June 2008 @ 11:13 am
She has been suspecting me all week, it this, eat that, don't go for a run, u bearly have flesh, I AM GOING CRAZY. What shall I do?
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: Breathe in by SIA
27 June 2008 @ 12:27 pm
Hi girls, well thank you so much for this communtiy, I badly needit, esp. today.

Long story, life's a bitchCollapse )
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: orange county suite, the doors
25 June 2008 @ 12:20 pm
hey guys im new to this community. 
thee name is briannaxmarie. and im ana with mia episodes. 
right now im on a HORRIBLE "i wanna eat" phase. && its making me VERY emotional =/

well anyways

my bf/hubby/bust it babayy =]  wants to take me to the mall today. but idk why i keep ignoring him or making up excuses as to why he cant come over or why i cant leave.....i mean i love him very much. and i want to see him. but its like idk. ughh i just dont know much of n e thing ne more...should i go with him??